January 19, 2009

Okay, the traveling sucks and is really, really hard.

I am getting up super-early on Monday to catch a flight and getting home late on Thursday nights.  IN between there is all the usual – delayed flights, having to eat at airports, business lunches, coffee breaks galore with tons of junk, business dinners, desserts and no time to exercise.

No time for much of anything except work in fact.

I am not happy about it.  I just spent 10 days giving in to it for the most part – often eating stuff at coffee breaks, having dessert, eating heavy German food.  I am up 4 pounds, 2 pounds each week.  It doesnt help that when I was back home in Paris I was tired, felt too lazy to exercise, and ate lots more stuff I shouldn’t.

While I try to figure out if or how I will keep this job and still have a life, I really need it to not kill me in EVERY sense – in that I insist on still having a good work-life balance, having time to build a great relationship with my husband, indulge in a few hobbies, AND keep my promise to myself to lose weight. Oh, and work on the Baby Project which is likely to be a huge, enormous time and financial commitment.

What I don’t know is HOW I’m going to manage this, but I do know I am going to do it.

I might not  be able to keep my job and keep the above committments, but I will keep the committments.  My priorities are clear.

My company wants me in this job and has said they’ll be flexible, but the proof will come in coming weeks.  Meanwhile I need to work out finding the time to work up a realisitic plan for my current environment and travel.

The worst part for me this past week actually began with the previous post – the realisation that this really will be HARD.  But hard or not, it needs to be done, and knowing it needs to be done just makes it neutral – the judgement of “hard” or “easy” is just judgement after the fact.  Once I have a solid healthy-eating strategy in front of me (which should be easier now that I’ve had many meals of German food and it is quickly losing it’s appeal) and an idea of how I can get exercise in on the road (no great ideas yet… but maybe next month’s hotel will help), I can just set the rules for myself for the days I’m in Munich.  I’ll need to be less social and more practical, but that’s okay.

Same for home.  Yesterday I realized, YET AGAIN, that once I’m actually at the gym I’m really glad I went and I don’t find it a waste of time, even if I have lots going on that day.  I somehow need to get myself to go for at least 15 minutes most days I’m home (knowing I’ll almost always stay longer) just to get in the habit of going.  I also need to go in the mornings, and irrespective of if my husband says he’ll go or not (he’s the master of “let’s go together at the end of the day” and then we never do…

Sorry for the rambling format – usually I think my posts through and rework them, but my work awaits and I just wanted to empty my head having spent too much time away.

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