Creative brains needed

September 6, 2009

I think most regular readers of my blog know that the last few months have been a bit overwhelming.  I was gearing up for IVF at one of the top worldwide centers when instead of finding myself finally pregnant, I found a cancer diagnosis.  It’s been a pretty rough ride, but the good side is that it’s been caught early and isn’t life-threatening.  It does, however, significantly alter the already-not-easy path to parenthood.  Later this month we travel back to this fertility clinic to gather eggs from my ovaries and hopefully to create some frozen embryos, and then in October I’m having the hysterectomy.  That means the frozen embryos will make their way into the world via another woman – a gestational carrier (the politically correct word for ‘surrogate’).  We think we’ve found the carrier, and the lawyer, and if all works out should be able to get this underway by the end of the year.

I am wanting to create a separate blog for this undertaking — we are being pretty open about this (unlike the years of infertlity which I endured pretty much alone).  I guess I now feel it’s not a personal failing, and that I need the support.  In addition, we couldn’t lie to a child about where they came from, and of course my friends and family have been a big support these past few months.  Still, even now I get a bit fed up with repeating the same details to everyone – except my Mom I have a hard time keeping track of who last left off with what info, so my sister’s suggestion to put it into a blog (maybe a private one) seems like a good idea.

I’ve kept Round here going for over 2 years, despite ups and downs and hard times, so I do think the blog solution could work well for me.

My challenge is to come up with a name for the new blog that I like – so far I’m not doing well on that, so I thought I’d ask you all – since most of you have clever names for your own blogs maybe you can help me?

The blog will only focus on the gestational carrier journey and I probably will need to mix in some of my health issues (report after surgery, etc).

I did come up with a name I thought was in the right direction, but there is a big problem with it :

“Not the straight path”  : I like it because it’s true, we are not on the easy or normal path to becoming parents…

the problem?  We are not gay.  There are a number of gay couples that use gestational surrogates to build a family, and obviously with the name ‘not the straight’ everyone would think that’s our situation (what’s the Jerry Seinfeld line – ‘not that there’s anything wrong with it’…) but since we are in fact a married heterosexual couple it’s not exactly the best description.

I want a title that conveys hope, and yet also outlines the fact that this is a big huge undertaking, risky, expensive, emotional, difficult, important, and complex.

Another idea is to use the word ‘intended’ prominently – the parents of a baby of surrogacy (the ones that will take it home) are called ‘intended parents’ in the legalese.  I like the hope and forward-looking side of that word too.

If you have any suggestions, could you pls leave them in the comments?  Hopefully the power of the internet will help me come up with a name worthy of this undertaking.


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