Down 4

May 13, 2008

I got on the scale this morning and was very happy to see a new decade – the scale read 209.

I actually think that it’s probably abnormally low and won’t be too surprised to see it the same or up one next week, but the needle moving in the right direction is a great motivation to keep going and settle into this for the long haul. That idea of settling in long term has been a real point of resistance for me in the last two weeks – I keep thinking through all the things I need to do long-term to manage my weight long-term and it’s seemed so impossible and overwhelming.

But in fact, it’s not that big a deal. I went to the gym this week and instead of being filled with anxiety and pain, I was really happy I did it, and was remembering those rare sessions where I touched that “exercise high” and was looking forward to getting back that feeling, plus the general comfort of moving my body better.

And food, in moderation and with attention, actually tastes better and is more pleasurable than that numb overeating I’ve been doing for so long (and recently). This weekend was a case in point – we were away with friends in Brittany and all the food was brought by the friends – I had no control of what would be served (an argument point between me and my DH…). In the end it was fine, plenty of veggies were on hand, and there were also many fruits even if I wasn’t partaking of them as I should have. In general I ate fairly reasonably (although certainly not diet, and I need to find a way to lay off the cheese).

This week is a busy one work-wise, but the biggest weight-loss challenge will be the fact that the house is completely un-stocked due to our having been away for most of the past 2 weeks.

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