Dr Hope – 2nd appointment

November 21, 2007

Ok, Dr Hope still gets to retain her title. I saw her again last night.

On my homework, apparently the correct answer to the many questions is FALSE for all of them (a calorie is a calorie, you should only eat when you’re hungry, etc). Except the dreaded #27… #27 is ” To lose weight you need to eat everything you like in smaller quantities ” and the answer is TRUE.

You know what that means? Yes, MODERATION. Attention. Thinking. Risk. No hiding behind diets, no pre-measured portions that I can eat all of. I knew #27 would be my dragon to slay!

So, I have more homework for Dr. Hope this week. I am to eat anything I want, IN MODERATION. If I knew how to eat in moderation would I weigh 202 pounds? But, it’s true, I’d like to be able to eat normally in the future and be way less stressed about food. So, I’ll try it.

I’m to pay attention to my hunger. Hunger scares me. When I am very hungry I don’t usually make good choices. When I diet I try to eat healthy food often so that I don’t put myself at risk. Now I’m supposed to get hungry.

And I’m supposed to stop eating before I get too full. I’ve never been able to do that. I hate to leave food on my plate. It’s not about starving children in Africa, either, it’s that it’s MY FOOD. Apparently it’s a pretty common “hoarding” reaction for those who have a broken relationship with food. So I’m supposed to work on stopping eating when I don’t feel hunger anymore. Okay, this will be another challenge…

Finally, I am supposed to make sure I enjoy my food. Eat butter if I want it, dessert if I want it, but make sure I really enjoy what I eat. And don’t eat it if I don’t enjoy it. This will be kind of new to me. I mean, I do enjoy food and eating, but how much is enjoying the ACT of eating vs what I’m actually eating at the time. I mean, do I actually ENJOY the zucchini, or do I eat the zucchini because I know I can eat a lot of it and fill up my tummy for few calories. This too will be a challenge.

I am to keep three columns for each meal – how I ate (time, place, people), how hungry was I (scale of 0-6) and what I ate.

It’s actually a lot to pay attention to, but it seems like it might be worth the effort, so I’m giving it a go.

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