Full of excuses but moving on anyway

June 27, 2008

I have been full of excuses lately.

Some are legitimate, some are not, but all, in the end, are just excuses.

I have been really sad these past few weeks as the due date for the pregnancy I lost last Fall came and went, with me still not pregnant despite a lot of efforts, and now getting pumped up with hormones that will hopefully turn the situation around. The hormones add bloating, pounds and emotions, along with some stress.

During times of stress I still have the reflex to turn to my dear old friends fat, flour and sugar and whatever other guests they might add to the mix to make it a real rockin’ party. We’ve been partying heavily recently, and I’ve really been stuck in a bad cycle.

I have decided to focus my efforts for the next few weeks on gentle but regular exercise. I’ve been feeling like a big slug for a long time now and with summer here now I want to be able to do things like light hiking, and I feel like I won’t even make it though that.

Years and years ago I liked swimming for exercise – I did it several times a week for several months, but then moved and never again was in a gym w a pool. I have rarely gone to a pool for exercise since that time, but I’d really like to try going back to that. I’m not sure how I’ll like the public pool system here in Paris – will it be dirty and gross? Will the communal showers freak me out too much? Will it be a hassle with the limited hours? Will the logistics work with my life (their limited hours vs my available hours)? I’ve been thinking about swimming for about 10 months now (since last Sept when my doctor gave me the okay for that after back surgery) but all of these questions (plus the lack of motivation!) kept me from going. Well, I won’t have the answers if I don’t try it, so I will go this weekend.

In the meantime, most of my exercise will be concentrated around walking and maybe using my dust collector elliptical machine that I have at home.

Also, due to the hormonally-induced extra bloating (and the very probably weight regain) I’ve decided to NOT track my weight for the next few weeks, but instead to track my waist measurement. I clearly need accountability but am afraid that using the scale right now will be counter-productive. In addition, the only tape measure I could find is in centimeters, which is a meaningless measure to me (meaning – no emotions attached to certain numbers) so I figure it’s a great place to start. I’ll measure every Monday, and post them on the “progress” page. I’m guessing I’ll add the scale back at some point too…

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