If you have to …

September 3, 2009

Near the oncologist

If you have to go to an oncologist, it’s not so bad if his office is just a few steps away from this view of the Eiffel Tower, right?

If you have to have a hysterectomy when you wanted to be having a baby, it’s not so bad that it’s because they found a condition very early and it means you’ll be safe from further disease, right?

If you have to have a hysterectomy and still want to have a baby, it’s not so bad that there are very good fertility doctors that can find ways to maximize your chances of doing so, while not putting your health at risk, right?

If you have to be in this situation, it’s not bad to have a great husband, who is amazingly supportive and calm.

If you have to go through all this – endometrial cancer, IVF, gestational surrogacy, etc, it’s not bad to have an understanding boss and a financial situation that makes these kinds of things possible (although it’s a BIG stretch for us for money and for my job).

I had an appointment today with the gynecologic oncologist who booked a new surgery day and wrote the letter giving me the clearance for the IVF.  He was very nice, laughed a bit at the US litigation fears (the reason behind the letter), and was very grateful that I had already prepared the letter in English so that he could just insert the date of the surgery and sign it (I was worried he’d find it too presumptuous).

Walking out of his office I went out of my way to get a good glimpse of the Eiffel Tower, since his office is near to it.  I also got to stroll down some of the prettiest streets of Paris, walk by several nice shops, and enjoy the pretty weather.

Some days I feel that the life circumstances that have brought me here are just so unfair, and some days I feel like I’m just finding my path – and accepting that my path is not the easiest one — but it’s MINE.  And I need to stop an enjoy the sights, the architecture and all the views I have along the way.

I am sticking with the carb-restricted eating for the coming weeks (no bread, pasta, potatoes, sugars etc) and I’m starting — gently — back to exercise. But over the coming weeks I’m going through IVF and will be pumped full of hormones so I am not going to freak out about the numbers too much, since I can’t control them.

And they are really insignificant next to everything important in life.

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