It’s ectopic, and hopefully it’s almost behind me

August 29, 2008

Well, these past few days have still been no fun.

Things came to a head on Wednesday. After a test at a specialist to confirm an ectopic pregnancy (where she could see nothing) my blood tests still refused to drop. I went back to work at our offsite meeting (I’d taken the train 60 min each way back to Paris to do the tests). My doctor’s office called with all the results and said they wanted me to go ahead with the treatment for an ectopic pregnancy, which is an injection of methotrexate. I recruited a colleague/friend who is a physician to give me the shot, but when we went to the pharmacy we found they didn’t stock it and we’d have to pick it up the next day. Later that evening I had strong abdominal pain (which I hadn’t had all through this process, including when I saw the radiologist in the morning for the ultrasound) and 2 hours later I found I was bleeding.   Not wanting to be stupid, I went to the ER.

The ER of course took hours, as I wasn’t bleeding heavily and I had a full folder of my exams of the past weeks with me, and there were more urgent patients than me.  When I was finally seen they ran all the blood work to make sure the liver and kidneys were okay for methotrexate and kept me overnight (this is France, in the US no way would I have been admitted!).  The next day yet another ultrasound (still nothing visible) and bloods and then they gave me the shot.  My husband had flown back from a business trip and was there to pick me up when they were ready to release me, and we’ve been home since.

The methotrexate has me cramping and bleeding lightly, with a very tender abdomen and pain that is pretty strong coming in waves and when I move.  I almost asked the nurse if I’d be able to go swimming this weekend, but that seems so ridiculous to me right now when I can’t even sit at the table for 30 minutes without severe discomfort, and walking around the house is hard.

I had some comfort eating yesterday — bread and butter upon returning home, and then pasta at dinner and a big bowl of ice cream later.  I think all things considered that’s not too bad, and today my husband went to the market and bought a TON of fresh fruits and veggies so today’s food has been much better.  I actually don’t have too much of an appetite, but I am me — meaning I often turn to food when I’m bored or stressed, and now I’m both (stuck at home,  immobile and in physical pain, and the emotional pain and drain from this whole process).  Still, I will not let myself gain weight even with such a good excuse.  I did that last year after my miscarriage and haven’t been able to get the pounds off, and I can really not afford to compound that problem further.

Thanks so much for all the supportive comments you’ve given me these past few days.

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