New goals in sight

August 28, 2009

As I was typing this title I realized this is in fact true in many areas of my life, but I actually meant my weight when the title first occured to me.

But there will be new goals for other areas too – building a family, managing my weight, simplifying my life, being happy in general.  They say cancer does that, that one (very scary) word and diagnosis just shifts everything around and priorities shift, become clearer.  Now that I’m mainly over the shock of the endometrial cancer diagnosis, I’m coming to terms with the fact that I need a hysterectomy (and thus our pursuit of building a family becomes even more complicated, technology-enhanced, and expensive).   We have a plan forward (fingers crossed it all works out) and I am now able and ready to move forward in peace.

I made the decision this week to revisit all my goals and plans – I’ve used Best Year Yet for most of the past decade and I decided to re-visit that, as the roles and goals are all changing, and there is nothing saying I need to wait for some mystical day on a calendar to do it.

I also changed my ticker this week.  I don’t have a final goal weight.  I’ve been at this weight battle far too long to believe in such fairy tales.  I am now taking the approach of doing a good weight loss approach that I can live with long term, and letting my weight decline and then settle where it will. (Although I sincerely hope that it will settle at least around a US size 12).

My first weight goal was to get back under 200 because being above again was really scary and horrible to me.  It’s not offical yet, but Monday’s weigh in will put me back under 200 (where I was before vacation) and this time it will be permanent.

So my next goal for my weight will be to get back to 183.  It’s a good goal because it’s meaningful and significant.  It represents another 18 or so pounds, so it will take a good while to achieve (I’m always a slow loser – I no longer bemoan it, I just accept it and work with it).  Being back at 183 will put me solidly in ‘regular people’ clothes in the US and even start to touch them in France in one or two shops (knock another 20 at least off to be able to shop comfortably in most stores in Paris).

185 is the weight I maintained for about 5 years before gaining again 2 years ago, so there is also a real sense that once I get there I can set the bar there (although it would be nice to keep losing).  The specific number of 183 is the weight I was on my wedding day, so it seems a good target to have, especially since the number sticks out so clearly in my mind.

If I knock the goal down to 179 I get the BMI out of the “obese” category, but it just doesn’t have the same emotional connection to me, so I’m keeping the next goal line on 183.

Here’s my ticker, set to the new goal:

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