Soon, but not yet

February 3, 2008

Soon I think I’ll be moving forward, but apparently not yet.  I guess it’s pretty good for me to be kind of stuck here right now, because it’s clear to me I don’t want to stay at this weight.  I’ve lost enough to be fitting into the fat clothes, but I feel yucky and want to get back to feeling good.

I’m not in a bad space right now – I got in a good long walk yesterday and probably will again today.  Half the time I’m eating well, the other half… well, let’s say there is clearly room for improvement.

I think this week will be a good clean slate.  My DH is gone for the first half of the week (and this time he really left), I’m feeling better after my antibiotics, and I got through a major meeting for my work last Friday.

The only real residual stress I’m facing is the possible job change one – and honestly I feel that it’s out of my hands.  I’ve only briefly touched on this topic, but it’s a big one for me.  Apparently the company is still trying to make up their mind, and they’re going to re-contact me for another set of interviews.  I suspect some of my malaise last week was anxiousness to have closure on this topic, but it looks like that will elude me again.  I’m now expecting a long timeline, my guess is I don’t have a clear answer until the end of the month.  What I am clear of is that they have doubts, so I’m mentally prepared for a No.   Since the job would be such a huge lifestyle change it’s not a No that is crushing – I have plenty of my own doubts, and in many ways it would be easier for them to tell me No than for me to have to accept the job, knowing that it will spark so much change in my life.  (But it’s truly my dream job, with a very good company and a real challenge and interesting position.  If offered it, I know I’ll accept.)

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