Take a step

July 11, 2007

It is very easy to do nothing.  I am a type A personality, and have been go-go-go for years.  Yet being benched from work & movement for the past 2 1/2 months due to my back forced me to slow down….then to stop.  And now I’m liking being stopped.  Too much.

I no longer have extreme pain & narcotics to excuse my inactivity & lazy days, nor hospital confinement, nor even last week’s immediate recovery period.  I see pretty clearly that I am now used to doing nothing — and liking it.  My lazy side, which got to come out and play from time to time on Sundays back when I was single, has been waiting around looking to take control.  So now that it’s been invited to the forefront, it doesn’t want to leave.

In a given day, I waste enormous amounts of time on the internet.  I read magazines.  I sleep in. I play w makeup. Watch a movie, maybe read.  Fix myself something moderately healthy to eat.  I do very little to help around the house (medical excuse!) but the scary thing is I don’t even do the few things I should.  I should be on top of a bunch of details for our US trip.  I should be catching up w my work emails.  I should be using this off time to tackle a few projects around the house.  And deal w a lot of paperwork.  But I’m not, I’m stalled, stuck & seeming to enjoy it.

Most disconcerting is the other thing I am not doing as I should : Daily Exercise.  Now, I am not supposed to do anything taxing, and right now not even swimming is authorized, but I am allowed & encouraged a daily walk.   I am completely out of shape from being immobile for so long.  I get tired after my walks, and I feel muscles in my legs for days if I take a hilly route.  I know I need to get into better shape, for my weight, for my health, for my fitness, for my routine.  I used to go regularly to the gym 3-4 times a week before this injury.

So why have I missed 3 days of the last 6?  I have lots of excuses, but they are just that.  The real answer is ‘laziness’.

Today I did go for my walk — I got up at the same time as my husband, and had him drop me off in the car about a 30min walk from home.  Forced me to not sleep in, get the exercise (I had to get home!) and feel better.   I actually did a really long walk, because he dropped me at a park I didn’t know, that I explored quite a bit before heading home.

So, I took a step.  I will repeat the process tomorrow morning.

Maybe I should do the same for my various to-do list items, and try to build momentum in a few directions…

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