My journey

A breakup letter to the 190s

July 5, 2010 Featured

Dear 190’s, We’ve known each other for quite a while now, and it’s hard for me to say this, but it’s time for us to move on in our lives.  I have other decades to explore, and you have plenty of other people who would be so happy to welcome you into their lives. I […]

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Project IF

May 3, 2010 My journey

IF is for Infertility.  What a terrible word.  It’s so…final. I have fought this finality for several years now. First several months of hope and no knowledge of the science, but no pregnancy. Then several months of doctors telling me to chart my temps and time our sex.  Not much fun, but not too onerous, […]

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April 28, 2010 My journey

It’s very early. But it’s good news, and I’m really happy. Our gestational carrier (surrogate) is pregnant! Now, it’s still really early, we still need another blood test (later this week), an ultrasound (in 3 weeks), to get through the first trimester, and of course to get through the whole 9 months & actually have […]

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Off track

April 16, 2010 My journey

Well, I’m pretty far off track as far as diet, exercise & healthy living go right now. Of course, I know it’s temporary and for a good cause (babies!) but I’m actually really glad that from Tuesday I’m back on track. Things here in Denver have gone well so far – I’ll update with the […]

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…more important than weight

April 8, 2010 My journey

Many many things are more important than weight. One of those things is my health, and thankfully that is good now. Another one is having a baby, and that’s become complicated for us, but still a possibility and frankly, our top priority nowadays. Right now that goal has me taking 4 shots of hormones a […]

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Real life stress

March 29, 2010 My journey

These past few weeks I’ve posted more and more about Relaxing and Pleasures and balancing stress.  Last week I started a cool new thing to post my “100+ Things That Make Me Happy” list — and I hope many people will join me. As some of you have guessed, it’s not just me sitting home […]

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The Plateau Action Plan

December 8, 2009 My journey

One thing I learned many years ago is to have a plan of action for stalls & plateaus.  I generally don’t consider myself plateaued until it’s been 3 weeks of no loss while I was making an effort.  If I’m not making an effort, I can’t really call it a plateau, just being off plan.  And […]

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10 flights of stairs

June 7, 2009 My journey

Yesterday I went to see a counselor, one who speaks English & isn’t too far away.  I don’t actually know if I need a counselor, but I don’t want to be completely isolated in dealing with this disease and it’s consequences, and I think it’s important to have someone to listen to me without having […]

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Beyond distracted

June 3, 2009 My journey

I thought this week things would start to be better, but I’m finding that I am beyond distracted by the cancer. During the times when I am in a meeting for work I’m okay, but pretty much most of the other times I’m preoccupied, and my work inbox is the biggest mess you can imagine. […]

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{untitled} – words don’t come close

June 1, 2009 My journey

My world got flipped upside down on Monday. I blogged about my weight, about being up a pound, about having followed carb-restriction for several weeks with mediocre results. God, how I wish that was my concern a few hours later. As those who’ve been following know, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for quite a […]

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August 26, 2008 My journey

My doc’s office was back today and they were so much more efficient and professional than the GYNs who’ve been following me, it was amazing. No waiting for more tests, they sent me today to have them done. But the answer isn’t what I wanted to hear, the blood test today was more than double […]

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No title seems adequate

August 13, 2008 My journey

No title I can come up with seems adequate, so I won’t even try. As I wrote a few weeks ago, we’ve been on vacation – one of those indulgent, generous, long French holidays I couldn’t even fathom when I was living in the US. That is the main reason I haven’t been writing recently […]

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I’m sick of being fat but I can’t stop eating

April 21, 2008 My journey

I am horrified with my current weight and how I feel and look.  And yet instead of taking action to correct it, I seem to be further sabotaging myself.  I have eaten pastries, cakes, bread and butter and oh so many other fattening things these past weeks. I have stocked up on healthy foods too […]

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None of my jeans fit

November 9, 2007 My journey

We are going away for the weekend and while packing last night I tried on my 2 biggest pairs of jeans. Neither of them fit, nor did the black cords which were too baggy last winter. All were buttonable but skin-tight and uncomfortable. It is so frustrating, I am so mad at myself for getting […]

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2007, the Bittersweet Year

November 7, 2007 My journey

It is so hard to come back on here after a major backslide. In many ways it would be easier to just start a new blog, new story. But the hardest part is probably finding my way here at all, and I am feeling the need to be honest. I have ballooned up to 202 […]

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