Treading weight in the deep end

October 28, 2008

Well I am not managing to get myself motivated enough to do anything about my weight for more than a few days in a row.  I am still frighteningly heavy (although I’m still down a few from the brush with the SCARY number).

I dont think counting calories is going to work right now (no matter how cool my iphone is).  It’s just too much a reminder of stress for me.  I do, however, think that awareness and pleasure are going to be keys.  Today at lunch I had a hamburger and fries (very infrequent for me) and felt bloated and yucky all afternoon.  I didn’t even enjoy the burger much, it was overcooked, and the fries were too salty (and the restaurant too stingy with the ketchup!).  I had a tomato juice at the airport and enjoyed it tremendously.  I am capable of knowing which foods and tastes are what I want and which are not (and then not just eating because it’s in front of me). 

I’ve eaten much too much starch thsese last days and I’d really like to inhale a bunch of fruits and vegetables (but on the road that’s pretty tough). 

The good news is that I’m really getting fed up with being this fat.  That usually means real action is coming.  I am also aware that I really will need some clothes at this current size to make it through winter, and I hate, HATE, HATE shopping for fat clothes in France.   I really want this to be the last time.  I promise to blog about how awful the experience will be, even though it will be very painful to do so. 

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