Very very small babysteps back on track

May 10, 2010

I am struggling.

I was off in eating-it-all land for too long for it to be easy to slip back into control. I have been off exercise even longer, and it’s appearing even harder than getting diet under control. I seriously frustrated myself this weekend – after 4 really good days while I was traveling, I let one bad decision lead to another and another and another until yesterday (Sunday) looked pretty much like a disaster. Not a Complete Disaster – I did have a healthy salad for lunch, a bunch of strawberries for dessert & I avoided a lot of stuff I easily could have eaten… but I still left lots of room to eat stuff I shouldn’t, and I never made it to the gym.

Stress

The truth is that I am really nervous about how the ultrasound with our gestational carrier / surrogate will go on Friday, and I’m completely preoccupied by that. I feel bad for not being there. I so want everything to be okay, yet I am very much protecting myself from another huge disappointment & so trying to keep my hopes in check. If you’re new to my story, you can read about our infertility saga here, but basically we are using a surrogate & she’s newly pregnant & the first ultrasound is this coming Friday.

My mind has been full of all these timelines for losing weight – how much I can lose by our summer vacation, by the time the baby is born, etc. But a few days of off eating & my weight is as high as when I got off the plane 10 days ago & I feel overwhelmed by the task.

So I’m starting really slow.

3 goals only, and only until Thursday. We have a long weekend here Thursday-Sunday and may or may not be going out of town, so I’ll need a new plan for the weekend. And I have a lot of worry between now and Friday evening so I need to be realisitic about how much I can take on – since I really want to keep my stress to a minimum.

Here are the goals for the next 4 days :

1) Eat healthy, balanced, foods but not write anything down
2) Drink at least 10 glasses of water or herbal tea
3) Weigh myself daily

I go back and forth on how often to get on the scale, but some of the smartest scale advice I ever heard was “if you’re stuck, whatever you’re doing currently with the scale, do the opposite”, so that’s why I’m moving to daily weigh-ins. I’ve been doing weekly only for the past few months, so to switch it up it’s daily for now.

I still think about summer vacation & how hard it will probably be to keep losing weight with a new baby, but the truth is that it will be even harder if I don’t get a little under control, so I’m much better off with the slow start than no start at all…. and since in the past 10 days I tried twice to have a “real” start (and failed both times), I think a soft-start is probably a good choice right now. Plus it’s lower-stress, and you know I’m all about ‘low stress weight loss’. Never mind that my husband gently teased me yesterday that I was doing pretty well on the “low stress” side but not so great on the “weight loss”….

Spring Focus Peer Group

We’re getting organized & growing as a group!  If you want to join, please go to this post & leave a comment (you’re very welcome!)

Thanks to Billie for finding the problem with the grab code – I’m working on changing it now but having trouble, so once I get it working I’ll update this post.

And the special blogroll is going up right now – plus I’m going to come around to visit!

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