What I’m willing to do right now

November 17, 2008

Sandra Ahten (see sidebar) has a great saying “It’s not what you think you SHOULD do, it’s what are you WILLING to do.”

I’m taking some steps to get back on track, starting now.

I was lucky to have a few days at home without my DH to distract me to have a kind of break from bad food and allow myself to really concentrate on what I wanted and how I want my life to be.  Part of that includes losing weight.

I remain committed to do this low-stress.  I had moments in the past weeks where I contemplated putting myself on some severe restriction plan with shakes or rigid diets, lured by the possibility of dropping a bunch of pounds right away.  But that’s not a path that will work for me psychologically, and certainly not a way to make peace with my body, with food, and with my life in general.  That approach is war, and I don’t have that kind of fight in me right now.

I am willing to make some changes, though.

I’m willing to keep a food diary, although I haven’t totally decided in what format.  Maybe online, maybe paper. Maybe going back to the format I developed for Dr Hope last year.  That’s what I’m going to try for this week at least.

I am willing to go back to exercise, and to work on getting fit again.  I know this will take time and effort – both short term and long, but I also know I feel so much better when I am exercising regularly, and I also know it is very synergistic with healthy eating.

I am willing to spend time and energy cooking yummy food.  I am not willing to eat yucky stuff even if it’s low calorie.  Luckily, I find a lot of healthy stuff yummy.  But I will use real butter and sugar from time to time.

I am going to spend more time concentrating on what I should eat and less on what I should not.  I am going to vaguely follow something like Superfoods and WW Core plans just to have an idea about incorporating lots of healthy foods into my diet.

I am probably going to look more into Intuitive Eating type ideas as time goes on.  In the end it’s where I need to be, but I dont think I will follow steps or rules.  It’s also not where I will begin.

I am going to try to find a tight support system.  Yesterday I arranged to have a diet buddy, calling on an ex-3FC blogger who I’ve kept in touch with, and who I now consider a friend.  She was one of my favorite bloggers and like me she has had a pretty hard year.  I am also going back to a small forum group where I can have accountability and support, and the atmosphere is friendly and intimate.

I am going to weigh in very regularly.  Daily for a while and then maybe switch to weekly.

I am going to blog regularly.  This blog has been very helpful to me since I started it, and although I feel like I’d like a clean start, on the other hand everything on here is part and parcel to my current situation and thinking, so I’m just taking down some pages that no longer seem relevant and moving forward from here. A blog is kind of like a diary but not completely – it’s more living, more fluid.  A diary was written (usually in ink) and a real record of the past.  This, for me, is more about today — and tomorrow.

I am going to set my goal very modestly.  I am not going to reference my weight goals to where I *used to be* because it just depresses me.  I am going to just accept where I am, dry my eyes, and move on.  My first major goal is to get out of the 200s, this time FOR GOOD.

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